


The child he never wanted

by LilSisBarton34



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action & Romance, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Mpreg, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Protective Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilSisBarton34/pseuds/LilSisBarton34
Summary: Bucky's been in HYDRA'S control for years, he's not sure how long but he knows that it's been a really long time, too long. He's done things that will scar and traumatise him for life, but then HYDRA does something he never expected... they call it project rebirth. Their aim is to create another winter soldier, one that is already in their possession and has the super soldier serum build into them. Now two months pregnant and fighting a man with bright blue eyes that stirs something deep within him, Bucky must fight to protect the life of the child he never wanted.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my story! There is no smut in this because I'm not comfortable with writing things like that but there is childbirth so if that makes you feel uncomfortable then you probably shouldn't read this. This isn't going to follow the events of the winter soldier to much because there's a new character which will change the whole plot. I hope you like it!  
> ~Lily

3 months ago

Stay on target, in and out, focus. Target: Aleksei Yahontov, millionaire. Work spread across the globe, kill quickly and quietly. I soundlessly stalked through the trees, sharp eyes alert to find hidden guards or defense mechanisms. I flowed in and out of the trees, dressed in black from head to toe, concealed weapons hidden all over. My muzzle was tight across my face as my greasy, knotted hair rested limply on my shoulders. I saw his house and took note of ten guards positioned at Windows and doors as well as the door to a fence surrounding the house. Electric fence. Security cameras surrounding area and guards have guns. I positioned my sniper as I lay on my stomach, I aimed at his unprotected neck and soundlessly fired. I quickly shot the other guard and slung my sniper back onto my back. I melted into the background and dragged the two dead guards into the forest, then I stole the key card to open the gate and slipped inside. I closed the gate and waited in the shadows, the guards started to rotate and I took my chance. I crept over to the unguarded window and broke the lock sliding in, I crouched on the floor taking in my surroundings. I was on the first floor in the east section, Yahontov's room was on the third floor, North. I crept up, going fast because soon the guards would realize the window was broken and it would be harder to get out.

I found Yahontov's room and took out my knife, I slipped inside and soundlessly finished my job.  
I flew out of the house, a passing shadow. I had to kill four more guards to get out without being seen, but I did it, wasn't to difficult. I reached up and activated my com.  
"миссия выполнена."(mission done) I spoke into my com,  
"Солдат, подожди, пока не приедет твоя поездка."(Good work soldier, wait until your ride comes)  
I stood stoically, as I waited. I saw a black helicopter coming towards me and stood to attention seeing the hydra symbol. The door opened and two agents walked out, they took my weapons and handcuffed my hands behind my back. We sat in slilence as the helicopter flew back to the base, I looked down having been trained to do this. When we arrived we climbed out of the helicopter and more agents walked behind me. We turned left and I frowned, my cell was on the right, they must want me to do another mission straight away. We walked down the hallway and two more agents opened the doors as we walked through, this was a medical room. I felt my hands go sweaty as dread filled my very core, nothing but pain and torture ever came from medical rooms.

"Уложите солдата на кровать."(get the soldier on the bed) a doctor spoke,  
They unlocked my wrists and pushed me onto the bed, they tied my arms and feat down.  
"У вас есть еще один солдат миссии."(You have another mission soldier)  
I stared at the doctor as another one took off my muzzle, boots, jacket and top so I was left in just pants. Fear curled it's icy fingers around me as my breath became jagged.  
"Вы собираетесь произвести еще одного суперсолдата, мы немного изменим вашу генетику и добавим в вас несколько частей, чтобы вы могли родить ребенка."(You are going to produce another super soldier, we are going to modify your genetics a little and add a few pieces in you so that you can bear a child)  
"Нет..."(no) I whispered,  
I felt tears spring to my eyes as I gasped for air, this can't be happening.  
"Удерживайте солдата."(Hold the soldier down)  
I thrashed against my bonds, desperate to get away from whatever they were about to inject me with. Then multiple hydra agents forced me down and to be still, a doctor came over and injected me with a clear liquid. Suddenly everything started to go woozy and my limbs felt like heavy weights, my senses started to fail and my body went numb. My mind became foggy and I couldn't tell what was happening to me, time past by strangely. At one point I felt a searing pain in my abdomen but it floated away and I fell back into a timeless dark void.

●●●●●●●●●●

I woke up with a start, my head ached and I still couldnt move very well, whatever they drugged me with was pretty strong. I waited until I was fully awake and able to move, then I looked at my body, fearing what I would see. I was in a ratty hospital top and pants, I felt something on my lower stomach. I reached down and pulled my shirt up, I stared at the thick white bandage stained with deep red. I shifted and cried out from the intense burning pain that flared up where the bandage was. I gritted my teeth, breathing harshly as I saw a doctor walk over, he glanced over me before writing something down and walking away again. I saw stars as I groaned, body stiff and tight from pain. I saw the doctor come back with straps that she attached to the bed, they wrapped around me tightly so I couldn't move unless I really wanted to. It took ten minutes for the pain to die down again and I could relax my aching muscles a bit.  
"Вы беременны на одной неделе, в течение недели вы были без сознания, и мы подтвердили жизнь ребенка два дня назад."(You are one week pregnant, you have been unconscious for a week and we confirmed the child's life two days ago) the doctor stated,

Then she left without a backwards glance, I stayed frozen, shocked, angry, confused... I felt a million emotions run through me at her words. But it all turned to hatred as I stared at my stomach, where the child was. I felt hatred towards the doctors, towards hydra... but most of all I hated the life growing inside of me.


	2. Mission failed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and to anny for commenting! I'm sorry for some errors, I just reread the first chapter and noticed them. But anyway let's get back to the story!

one month ago

It's been a month, and it's only just sinking in that life is growing inside of me. That I'm holding life, that they are my responsibility. It's terrifying to think that there's going to be a child in me for eight months, then hydra is going to take them from me and I might never see them again. I know hydra will do cruel twisted things to my baby, probably raise them to be a cold blooded killer. I can't do a thing about it, I can't escape. Hydra is spread all over the world like a hidden virus waiting to attack, no where I escaped to would be safe. I looked down at my baby, there wasn't really a bump yet, my stomach had just smoothed out. I didn't know how I was gonna protect them when hydra would be sending me on missions, ones that were heavily dangerous. I wasn't worried about me, no I would be fine, I was always okay in the end. But when I was six, seven, eight months pregnant? That's near impossible to get around stealthily and keep the child safe.

"вставай, солдат, у тебя есть миссия."(get up soldier, you have a mission)  
I rose to my knees where the hydra agent came and unlocked my hands and the heavy collar with a chain attached to it and the wall. He re-handcuffed me and we walked out, we got into a silent black helicopter and a hydra agent told me my mission.  
"Цель: Капитан Америка, убивай всеми возможными способами."(target: Captain America, kill in whatever ways possible)  
I looked down at me feet silently as I waited for the helicopter to land, it took a while to get there and I could tell we weren't in Russia anymore. The helicopter landed and I got out, a agent un-cuffed me and gave me my weapons.  
"направляйтесь на юг, ваша цель скоро будет там."(head south, your target will be there soon)he commanded "hail hydra."

I set off, I was on the edge of a city. I headed south and climbed onto the roof of a building, I surveyed the people below. They were all hoarding children, texting on phones, or rushing off somewhere. They spoke English and were in a huge industrial City. I'm in New York. Makes sense for Captain America to live in America. I scaled across buildings, leaping from one to another, searching for the man I was hunting. Hydra had shown me a picture of him before I left so I would know exactly who I was targeting. I kept going south until houses and shops turned into sky scrapers. I had to travel differently then, I stayed in the shadow of a skyscraper, on the side. I waited taking out my gun. Ten minutes later I saw Captain America jogging at the park across from me, he was next to a dark skinned man and they both had running clothes on. I took aim, the gun fired as the loud gunshot screamed towards Captain America. He ducked just in time as wide ocean blue eyes searched around frantically, people started screaming and running in every direction from the gunshot. I took out the knife in my boot and ran out of the shadows, I leaped over cars and headed straight towards the Captain. He saw me coming and his eyes widened,

"Sam, it's the winter sol-" he started before I lounged at him,  
Then I tried punching him but he caught my fist, but that can't be possible... I'm a super soldier.  
A kick to my back made me spin around and send a kick back at the man, he flew backwards and slammed into a car. I spun back around and saw the Captain running towards the road where cars were, he broke the window of a car and pulled out a shield. It was circular with red, blue and white. Suddenly a strange feeling of recognition washed through me,  
"I'm with you till the end of the line..." a voice whispered in my mind,  
Stay on target, don't get distracted. I ran towards the Captain who threw his shield at me, I caught it with one hand staring at him. He froze as he looked at me in confusion.  
"Who are You?" He asked,  
I ran and slashed the shield towards him, he ducked and kicked me in the stomach. I gasped, eyes flying wide as I retreated a few steps. Shit, shit, shit...  
Then something hit the back of my head and I collapsed onto the ground, my hearing muffled. I felt someone turn me over and take my muzzle off. I snapped back to attention, springing onto my feet and whipping out a gun.  
"Bucky?"  
I froze staring at the Captain who had a look of utter confusion, grief and happiness.

"Who the hell is Bucky?" I blurted,  
He looked torn as he took a step closer to me, I shot the gun off but he easily blocked it with his shield.  
"Buck, it's me... Steve." He spoke softly.  
I couldn't handle it anymore, I ran. I ran away from my target. I heard someone yell something but I was all ready gone by then. I ran past buildings and stores, I creeped through alleys and back ways. Until I made it a safe distance away. I bent over, hands on my knees as the reality of what just happened sunk in.  
I failed my mission.


	3. Bucky, it's Bucky

Present day

Pain. That was all I felt when they found out I failed my mission. They tortured me until I was a bloody, writhing mess. They made sure to not hurt my child but I didn't care, I hated it. I hated the stupid life that they forced into me. I shifted on the hospital bed I was on, all my injurys had healed up a few days ago and they just finished a checkup on the child. It was healthy. I groaned as I shifted and sat up, I was just starting to show, it was the smallest baby bump ever. If you didn't know I was pregnant it would just look like my normal body. A agent walked in and glared at me threateningly,

"You have failed your mission soldat, you are a worthless killing machine that couldn't finish one task, pathetic. You will go back and finish your job, or we will slowly torture you. As soon as the child is born... we will kill you. But if you actually finish your mission you stupid excuse of a human, we will spare your life."  
I bowed my head in submission, to show I understood. The agent left and a doctor came in, roughly stripping me and shoving on my work gear. They handcuffed me and an agent led me to a helicopter. We sat in silence as we shot towards the place my target was located, eventually we arrived and they handed me my weapons. I saw we were hovering above a bridge that cars were obliviously crossing, they opened the door and showed me a fast approaching car that the Captain was supposedly in.   
"Не подведи нас снова."(Don't fail us again)  
I nodded and ran out of the helicopter, I dived towards the ground and rolled to make sure I didn't end up breaking anything. My metal hand scraped along the ground as I stopped and stood up, I kept my eye on the Captains car and shot his front left wheel. The car veered sideways and slammed into the car beside it, they rolled as the surrounding cars speeded off the bridge at top speed. I saw Captain America get out of the car a bit roughed up with a red haired woman. He pulled out his shield and she whipped out two guns, I took out my knife and flung it at the woman. She barely just missed it and sprang back up shooting at me.

"Nat no, don't shoot him!"  
"Steve he's a fucking weapon that we've been hunting for years, he wouldn't even think before killing us."  
I shot at the Captain and the bullet embedded itself into his shoulder, he cried out but got his with a about him and ran at me.  
"I'm calling fury!" I heard the red head shout as she slipped out her phone while firing at me,  
I dodged a punch sent my way by the Captain and took out another knife trying to get past his shield to kill him. I grunted as he met my attacks and threw ones back equally hard.  
"Buck please... Don't you remember me?" He asked desperately,  
I stared into his deep blue eyes and snarled, but a voice at the back of my head was screaming at me. Did I know this man? I heard a plane coming and managed to punch the Captain in the face, he spat out blood and had a split lip. I ducked and rolled latching onto the back of him I took out my knife and was about to stab him when I heard a gunshot and a searing pain in my thigh. Fuck, I can't walk now. The Captain grabbed me and pinned me to the ground.

"I'm not giving up on you..." the Captain said determinedly,  
Then I heard multiple voices shouting at each other and lots of footsteps, I struggled against Captain America. Then I saw the red head walk over and slam her gun into my head. Everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, sorry if the chapters not top quality. There's a guy that asked me out, I said no but he keeps bringing it up. He keeps saying all these dating scenarios and keeps calling me beautiful. I don't know how to react to this, if any of you have advice PLEASE comment. It would really help!

"He's got a bullet wound in his thigh as well as a minor concussion. There's something else..."  
I snapped my eyes open in a wild burst of panicky filled energy, I saw I was strapped down to a hospital bed and I immediately began thrashing around. Doctors rushed towards me and injected something into me, I began to calm down and feel slightly sleepy. I was extremely worried and warning bells were blaring all throughout me.  
"My name is Collin Romkey and I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here to help heal you. But were going to have to have a talk."   
I blinked wearily at him and completely froze up like a clam snapping shut. Where am I? Then I remembered my fight with the Captain, my gut clenched as I realized I'd failed again. I was going to be killed. I scanned the room for possible weapons and escape routes for when this drug wears off.

"You are the winter soldier, hunted for years and years. A passing shadow believed to be a myth until now. Do you belong to an organization called hydra?" He asked,  
I stared at him and set my jaw, I didn't care what they did to me but I wouldn't give them anything. The doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He took out a picture and showed me what it was. It was two men, standing side by side. One was short and blonde while the other was tall with brown hair.  
"Don't do anything stupid until I get back..."  
"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you..."  
I jerked back from the photo gasping from a strange vision that came into my head, the doctor started to write something down in a notebook. I looked at the picture again.  
"I knew him..." I whispered,  
He looked up and smiled.  
"You're starting to get your memories back. This is a good sign. Do you know who Bucky is?"  
I stared at him in confusion, the Captain called me Bucky and now the doctor was talking about it.  
"No... The fuck you keep calling me that?" I asked groggily,  
"Because Bucky is the key to you getting your memories back."  
I stared at him as thoughts swirled around my head, whoever this Bucky is I'll find him and figure out what he has to do with me.

"Did hydra do something... to make you... be able to have a baby?"  
I froze at his words, shit he knows. I took a shaky breath and the doctors face softened.  
"Look we're here to help... It's possible to get an abortion. Or you can choose to keep the baby."  
I closed my eyes, did I want to give up my baby? The baby I never wanted and was forced onto me. The baby... the baby. It's a baby, a living soon to be breathing baby. A human, a life that has a personality, fears... a life. I'd be killing a life. My baby's life.  
"I... I wanna keep it." I whispered,


	5. Ocean eyed guy

I stared at the wall, I had to get out of here. Not back to hydra, they'd eventually kill me. I had to disappear, completely off the maps, so hidden no one will ever find us. I'd gained some trust from the doctor that had been trying to get me to talk, to his understanding he thought I wasn't going to try to escape anymore. Underestimating the winter soldier will be the worst thing he does. I slipped off the bed and quickly disabled all the hidden cameras in the room. I grabbed the key from my pocket that I'd stolen from the doctor when he'd busy doing something, I unlocked the door and slipped out. I was armed with a book, unfortunately that was the closest thing to a weapon in there. I crept through hallways, trying to figure put where I was. I heard extremely soft footsteps coming and I knew they'd been trained as an assassin. Fuck. I got my book ready in case they came closer, I could at least make them disoriented and steal any weapons they had and then swiftly kill them. They rounded the corner and I saw it was the red headed woman from my fight on the bridge. Her eyes widened as she saw me and before I could wack her on the head she whipped a gun out.

"Don't move. Unlike Steve, I'm perfectly fine with killing you."  
I stilled and kept an eye on her every movement and possible weapons she was hiding in other areas of her clothes. She reached up and activated a com,  
"Winter Soldier escaped, I have him i-"  
I punched her in the stomach and dodged a bullet she fired, I grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her but she pulled me into her and elbowed me in the... jewels. I bent over from the pain and she kicked my head sending me into the wall. She pushed the gun against my forehead and bent down.  
"I said don't. Move. Try anything and it'll be a quick death. Shield agents are on their way to detain you and then I will PERSONALLY make sure you get locked up."  
I decided to do as she said, if it weren't for my child I probably would have just let her kill me and end my suffering. Two minutes past and then agents came and surrounded me with their guns all pointed at my head or my heart. I saw doctor Romkey with a grim face and then I saw... the blue ocean eyed guy that I felt like I was connected to...he was breathing heavily as if he'd just ran here. His expression was pinched and his hands were in fists. My eyes slid back on to the red head who hadnt even glanced at the others, she grabbed the material of my hospital top and shoved me onto my feet.

"You have to be more gentle with him." Dr. Romkey grimaced as he stepped forward,  
"I? I have to be careful with a killing machine? He's killed thousands of people and you're asking me to be fucking gentle with him?" She hissed,  
"I need to talk to you and Steve. Privately."  
She shoved me towards two officers who handcuffed me and started leading me away somewhere, my breathing became jagged. They cuffed me like hydra always did. I saw the man they called Steve uncertainty looking at me before following the doctor and the red head. We walked down multiple hallways and finally stopped at a metal door. They opened it and saw it was a small room that was completely padded, it had a camera behind bars that I couldn't reach. The un-cuffed me and led me inside. The door slammed and I sank to my knees, I curled up in the corner and closed my eyes. Rocking back and forth I tried to stop the tears that were squeezing there way out of my tightly shut eyes. I hastily wiped them away, only humans cry. I'm not even human anymore, I'm a weapon, something to be used. I clamped my hand over my mouth and muffled the small sounds I was making. I just wanted to go to sleep. To go to sleep and never wake up again.


	6. I remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, if you have any thoughts on things you don't like or are confused about please do tell me. It really helps me to develop the story line.

Today was slow, Dr. Romkey had to do tests on me all day. It was just one after the other... he also did a ultrasound.

"Okay I need you to lie down here and pull your top up a bit."  
I tensed on the bed, no way was I gonna let my baby be unsheilded and possibly harmed by these men and women.  
"We're not going to hurt you or your baby, we just want to see what development stage there at."  
I hesitantly lay down and slowly pulled my top up, even just this one act of weakness was enough to set me off on edge and be hyper alert. The doctor readied the equipment and then warned me when he was gonna put this weird, cold, blue gel on my stomach. He used a device to roll around my stomach and was the looking at the screen, I wasn't in pain, I just had this nagging feeling that I had to get out of this position badly.  
"So far everything looks good, do you want to see?"

The doctor turned the screen towards me and my breath got caught in my throat, the picture was black with grey fuzzy bits on it but in the middle... was my baby. They were fuzzy and grey and it was hard to see but they were there. I could see the outline of there feet and head, there back as it was slightly curved. There was a long splotchy thing attached to my baby's stomach that let somewhere into the grey staticky walls. I stared and stared. This is my baby. The only thing I've truly ever owned, yet don't own at all... I took a heavy emotional breath. I looked at the doctor who was smiling at me. Then a pain overtook me and i closed my eyes grunting.

I saw a train, I was standing in it close to an open doorway. Beside me was Steve, dressed in leather and wearing an army hat with a blue, red, white shield. Something happened and I saw I was dangling out the door, clutching on with one hand bleeding. Steve saw me and tried reaching out to me, extending his arm. The thing I was holding onto snapped and I plummeted towards the snowy wilderness below.  
"Bucky!" I heard him shout before everything snapped into pain and darkness.

I jerked forward, I hand on my racing heart. Dr. Romkey was looking at me concerned and hopeful. I gripped onto the bedsheets as tears formed in my eyes.  
"I'm Bucky... I remember... Steve he... he was, my best friend."  
Tears started to roll down and in that moment something in me broke, like a dam with water exploding and roaring out. Memories flooded my mind. I remembered everything, Steve, Brooklyn, my Ma... I had a life, I was someone.  
"Where's Steve? I have to see him!" I choked out,  
"Steve's just being briefed on everything that's happened, I'll tell him to come."  
I rocked back and forth, I needed Steve, I needed him right now. I had to tell him, I had to see him.  
Five minutes past and I was twitching and edging a panic attack, then the door opened and in walked Steve. Dr. Romkey left and Steve walked over quickly, I stood up. I felt tears still streaming down my face, I looked into Steve's face and so many emotions filled me that I hadn't felt in so long. Then Steve was hugging me, he pulled me into his arms and rested his hand against the bottom of my neck. I sobbed wrapping my hands around him, I shook and cried. Steve stood there and held me, this was the safest I'd felt in years.

"I-I remember... everything."  
I felt Steve grip onto me tighter and heard him take a shaky breath, then I heard him cry. I felt shocked and happy. I just needed to be with Steve.  
"I thought... I thought I'd lost you." Steve whispered,  
I just cried into his chest as we sank to the floor, we held onto each other like we would get ripped away. We stayed there for half an hour, spending our tears and reassuring ourselves that this was real.  
"Bucky... are you... really pregnant?"  
I nodded into him suddenly terrified that he'd reject me, throw me away. Wouldn't want to be my friend.  
"It's okay, were get through this. I'm never gonna leave you again Bucky."


	7. Chapter 7

I sat in the interrogation room, for some reason they decided not to cuff me. I was waiting for someone to come in and was getting antsy from the very obvious camera filming my every move. The door opened and the same red head that captured me walked in, she sat down across from me and sighed. Sitting back in her chair she watched me with a calculating gaze, not quite hostile just contemplative.  
"Bucky, my name is Natasha and I'm here to interrogate you. Anything you wanna tell me?"  
I looked at her surprised, I hadn't expected her to ask me to talk like that. I thought she would start rattling off questions and threaten me if I didn't answer her.  
"Nothing? Bucky... I know how you feel, but I want you to know that you're safe now. This place, these people are the one thing that actually can help you. Help both of you."  
I watched her face for any signs of deceit, she only looked tired, determined and reassuring.  
"I can't trust anyone." I muttered,

She smiled at me the tiniest bit and inched forward, she took my hand slowly and gently so I could pull away if I wanted to. She squeezed my flesh hand and looked me in the eye seriously.  
"I was raised to become a weapon, an assassin like you. They replaced my memories and drove me to perfection. I believed that that was my life, I couldn't escape from it. Then an agent of shield was sent to kill me, he ended up saving me and giving me something I never expected. He gave me a home, a family, something to protect, he gave me a reason to live. Now were giving you the same option, to start over. You can have a life with your child and not have to worry about being hunted down. Bucky this is your chance." Natasha had a soft look on her face when she talked about the man that saved her and I knew they cared about each other deeply,  
I stared at her in shock, she found a way out? And I could too? She gave my hand another squeeze and then sat back letting go of me. Her expression became more serious and business like and she hid all the emotion and raw honesty she showed a minute ago.  
"So what do you think Barnes? Want to have another shot at your life?"  
I nodded overwhelmed with feelings and conflicts, I was dangerous. I was a soldier, I could never have a normal life. But I wanted to be safe so badly, I wanted to start over, to stop my murderous path.

"Now, how long have you been in hydra's control?"  
"Since they found me... when I fell off the train."  
Natasha took a sharp inhale and looked at me sternly,  
"Bucky what year is it?"  
I looked at her puzzled, why would this be relevant. Yeah it had been a long, long time. But I didn't need to know the year, it was what late 1960s?  
"Bucky... it's 2018, you've been in hydra's control for a very long time. You and Steve are almost 90 years old theoretically."

I stared at her, this can't be possible. Everyone... Everyone I remembered is gone? No... Peggy, Ma, the howling commandos... I gripped onto the edge of the table as I fully realized just how alone I was. I heard muffled talking and then Natasha was beside me. She was exaggerating her breathing and made me only focus on her face.  
"Bucky, focus on my hands and tell me how many fingers I have each time."  
"Two... one... five... three."   
I settled down and calmed myself as I focused on counting, she gave me a smile and stood back up.  
"That's it, all better."  
I nodded and she sat back down again.  
"Bucky, I have to ask what do you want to do with your life? You have to stay with shield for protection... or come with us."  
"Where are you going?"  
"Me and Steve as well as others are Avengers, we protect humanity from threats that shield can't handle."  
I thought about it, I wanted to stay with Steve. If I became an Avenger I could help people... make up for the lives I've destroyed. I would be doing good, helping protect instead of harm. I looked up at Natasha determinedly, she smirked and suddenly a memory flashed. I was dancing with a young red haired women, when we finished she stopped and smirked up at me...  
"Natalia" I said looking at her,  
She visibly tensed and looked down, then looked up,  
"You still have memories coming back. I think I'm gonna talk to Steve about moving you into the Avengers tower with us. It will do you good to be around Steve. I think you both need each other right now."

She stood up and motioned for me to follow her, we walked out and into a meeting room where Steve and a black man with an eye patch were standing and talking. They stopped talking and eye patch guy looked at me suspiciously before deciding I was fine if Natasha trusted me.  
"Fury, Barnes should be relocated to the Avengers tower."  
"Absolutely not, do you know how easy it would be for him to escape agent Romanoff?"  
"Sir, he'd be surrounded by Earths mightiest hero's and a A.I. system that has constant tabs on where everyone is. Hed be safer there than here." Natasha argued with a quirk of her eyebrow,  
Fury scoweled and turned away, Natasha smirked in victory and motioned Steve over who looked relieved that we'd won this time. He gave me a bright smile and stood close to me, it's so strange how big he is now. He was a tiny stick in my old memories. His smile was the same, his smile and his ocean blue eyes. 

"Hey Buck, you hungry?" Steve asked with a smile,  
I nodded and they led me to a different room with a bed in it with a small bathroom and a table to eat at that. Everything was bolted to the floor but I saw a few books on the table, we walked in and I saw a plate of food on the table. The aroma wafted towards me but instead of smelling delicious my stomach rolled and I felt sick. I ran into the bathroom and threw up what little I had managed to get down into the toilet, I groaned and felt Steve rub my back and hold my hair away from my face.  
"Bucky what's wrong? Are you sick?" Steve fretted nervously,  
Natasha looked worried and bewildered before suggesting we see Dr. Romkey, when we got there he just looked amused.  
"As touching as it is to know you both are looking out for Bucky, you have to remember that Bucky is carrying and side effects come with that. One is called morning sickness where you get sick and don't feel like eating. This is normal in all pregnancies and should pass in the next few months."

Steve looked embarrassed at that while Natasha also looked slightly amused, they brought me back to my room and told me to get some rest. I ended up lying awake unable to sleep. I rolled onto my back and tugged my top up that Steve had given to me. It was quite obviously his and was to big but I didn't mind. I looked at my stomach and smiled, don't get me wrong I still have mixed feelings about something growing inside of me. I'm okay with that though and right now I was sending all the love and happiness I possessed and mentally sent it to my child. Above anything, I wanted them to grow up knowing I loved them.


	8. I'm not welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a little while, I probably won't be able to update as often as before because I currently have 4 fics I'm working on😅 if you have any suggestions for the story or any other ships you want please comment.
> 
> ~Lily

Today was the day Steve and Natali-Natasha would try and convince the man that owned the tower to let me stay, let's just say I'm not very optimistic. Not sure very many people would greet an ex-hydra assassin with open arms. I had been mentally tested and they deemed me safe to travel to the tower, for now. I was currently changing into 'modern' clothes, they were so different and weird from what I was used to. It was a long-sleeved red shirt with blue jeans and a blackish-grey coat, a black cap and red shoes called converse? So totally weird. My hair had been washed and was straight and clean as it rested on my shoulders. There was a nock at the door and Steve walked in, he blinked at me with wide eyes as he saw my new look.

"You look good..." Steve said as the tiniest blush spread across his cheeks,  
I looked at him confused and looked back down at my outfit, I thought it was supposed to be normal. I shrugged and grabbed the thin backpack that had a few clothes that Steve had bought for me, we walked out the door and I saw Natasha waiting for us impatiently.  
"Come on grandma's, while we're still young please." She smirked and spun around on her heels,  
I saw Steve roll his eyes but had a small smile on his face, we walked out of the building I had been staying in and into a car. I was in the backseat with Steve as Natasha drove, did Steve not trust me to be in the back by myself? I blew out a puff of air as I unhappily looked out at the people travelling by and going about there lives. We drove in silence as we passed street after street, Steve grew restless beside me. I stayed perfectly still, years of training and practise had destroyed the urge to fidget when I was nervous. It showed weakness and weakness lead to death. We finally arrived and got out, I looked up at a giant glass building with the letter A on it. Natasha walked purposefully towards the building and acted as if they were the ones to be nervous, not her. It must be the way she was trained.

We walked in and Steve opened the elevator past the front desk.  
"Welcome back Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Rogers."  
I stared up at the ceiling in shock, how did the radio in the elevator know there names?  
Natasha just smiled when she saw my reaction.  
"Jesus, we've got a lot to catch you up on..." she sighed,  
"JARVIS take us to where Tony is please."  
I stared around trying to figure out where exactly the voice was coming from. Steve just chuckled at me and watched me with a smile. The elevator stopped and opened, we stepped out into one of the fanciest rooms I'd ever seen. Everything looked modern and stylish and VERY expensive. I saw a man walk into the room and stop as he sees us, his gaze slid to me and he looked shocked. His shock morphed into anger as he furiously shouted at Steve.  
"STEVE IS THAT THE WINTER SOLDIER!?"  
"Tony, please calm down. We need to talk to you."  
The man, Tony, closed his mouth and looked uncertainty between the three of us. He then sent me a poisonous glare which made me shrink even further into my coat as he jerked his head towards another part of the floor, Nat started following him.  
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you again Buck. I'm gonna talk some sense into Tony."  
Then Steve walked towards the other two.

I stood by the elevator and wondered if I'd be able to make a break for it while they were gone, then I shook my head sighing. Steve was the one connection I had to my past and my old best friend. I wasn't going to loose that and I actually wanted to do something good for once. I wanted to help people but I also had to keep my baby safe. I heard heavy arguing and crept closer uncertainty as I listened in on their conversation.  
"I won't have him in my tower!"  
"Tony-"   
"Steve are you insane? He should be locked up at shield right now, he's a killer!"  
"Tony have you ever been tortured, brainwashed and had your life burned and scraped away until they make you think you aren't even human!?" Natasha hissed,  
"No but-"  
"Tony he's pregnant." Steve said quietly,  
There was silence and I felt my stomach clench from the conversation, I walked away and slid onto the floor. I felt nauseous and sick, I put my head beneath my body and tried to breath evenly. It's okay, it's okay, Steve will protect me. I sat back up and felt bile churning in my stomach, oh god I can't be sick! Tony definitely will not let me stay if I ruin his expensive carpet. I heard quiet footsteps walk up to me and then I saw Natasha's face in front of mine.  
"Bucky are you going to be sick?"  
I nodded and she helped me up quickly walking me through halls until she walked me into a bathroom, I ran to the toilet and threw up. My throat was burning by the time I finished and I was shaking. I heard two more pairs of footsteps walk in as a second wave hit me and I doubled over the toilet again, I felt tears burn my eyes as I finally flushed the toilet. I glanced up tiredly and saw everyone looking down at me with a mix of sympathy and Tony looked just a bit guilty.

"He can stay." Tony said as he walked out,  
Steve smiled and helped me up, we walked out and back to the elevator.  
"Is it all right if you stay on my floor? That way I can help you if you feel sick or have a nightmare."  
I nodded in relief, there wasn't any other place I'd rather be.  
We walked into the elevator and I closed my eyes, gingerly I leaned against Steve worried he'd push me away. He only wrapped an arm around me and rested his head on the top of mine.


	9. The whole gang

My room was plain, appropriately so. Just a beige painted wall, bed, clothes drawers and empty bookshelf. Steve had promised to help me make it better and add interesting things. He told me he could paint the walls in whatever design I wanted, I pondered on what to choose. Maybe a forest, or a field with flowers in it. I wanted something natural and pure, nothing that reminded me of hydra. Steve had already filled the bookshelves with books all about modern technology and nature guides, interesting things to make me learn about the new world I was living in. Mind you, I'd only moved in four days ago, obviously Steve had been busy. I was now three months into my pregnancy and I was showing, like, a lot. Really it's not that big of a bump but to me it's like the freaking world is ending! I looked up pictures of pregnancy bumps and not gonna lie, I almost went into a full blown panic attack. I'm gonna look like a whale! The bump was HUGE! what worries me the most is how I'm gonna push that huge fucking bump out of Me! I've seen so many kids in the world and the population keeps growing, it must not be too painful if so many people do it... right? I sure hope so.

I pulled my top up and turned sideways, I looked at the bump in the bathroom mirror. I mean, if I wasn't as fit as I was from the nock off serum I got and all the missions I was on, it would look like a beerbelly. Maybe if I went outside people would just think I had one. I was trying to find an outfit that hid my bump the most because I was gonna meet the rest of the Avengers today. A coat worked the best but it was too hot for that, a sweater would have to do. I'd been feeling even more nauseous recently and had barely been able to eat anything, thank God for Steve who brought me ginger tea. It seemed to help a bit. I'd also been feeling exhausted for no reason, apparently this was all normal. Steve had bought me five books on pregnancy (for real) and made me read at least one of them so I knew what was happening to me. I had even more to look forward to like back pains, emotions going haywire, headaches, and I'd even feel imbalanced later on because of the huge bump. I heard a nock at the door and I quickly pulled my shirt down, Steve walked in a few seconds later.

"Hey Buck, you ready?" He asked,  
"Almost." I said grabbing a loose sweater and pulling it on.  
I saw Steve look at my bump and his gaze softened even more, he did that a lot when he looked at my baby. I self consciously pulled at the fabric that wasn't so big anymore when I put it on.  
"It's gonna be fine, I made sure they were all okay with you before you got to meet them. In fact, you're not our first teammate that was taken advantage of. We're all generally open to things like this, most of us understand what you're going through. Don't worry about how you look Bucky, they all know about... your pregnancy."  
I nodded but felt my skin go on fire anyway from embarrassment, we walked down the hall and into the elevator. I waited nervously for us to arrive where the others were. When the door opened I felt my palms go sweaty as lots of eyes swiveled onto me. We stepped out and I slipped my hands into my pockets and bowed my head down, I heard murmers.  
"Wow... they weren't joking, he really is pregnant!" Whispered a brown haired man to Natasha,  
She turned and glared at him as she slapped the back of his head, he grumbled nonsense at her and rubbed the back of his head. I saw the tiniest flicker of affection cross her eyes as she listened to him, was this the guy that saved her? I saw a curly dark brown haired man with glasses give me a smile, I tilted my head in acknowledgement.  
"Congratulations! You shall be a wonderful father!" Chirped a long haired blonde guy,  
A brown haired teenage girl beside him nodded and gave me a small smile, Tony was pointedly not paying any attention to me and working on a really big phone. There was a weirdly coloured, man shaped... thing floating in the air. I blew out a breath I hadnt realized I'd been holding in when everyone seemed okay with me. Another wave of exhaustion hit me and I rocked on my feet a bit, I saw Steve look at me concerned as the man with glasses walked over.

"Why don't you take a seat?" He asked gently,  
I nodded and sat on one of the huge, fancy couches. Before I knew it I was slumped against it and feeling as if gravity had decided to try and smush me on the floor. Steve sat beside me and brushed my hair out of my eyes, I leaned into his touch not caring if everyone was watching. I'd been through way to much shit to care about stuff like that. I'd started craving touch from Steve, it was the only contact I got.  
"Hey dude, sorry if we made you uncomfortable." The brown haired man said as he sat on the other couch,  
"It's fine."  
"My name's Clint." He said with a smile as he reached his hand forward,  
I took it and he gave me two good shakes, then the others sat down.  
"My name is Bruce, I'm a gamma physicist but I dabble a bit in medicine."  
"My name is Thor of Asgard!" The blonde smiled,  
"My name is Wanda and this is Vision."  
I nodded feeling a bit overwhelmed, I'll just blame it on the little fetus inside of me. I looked around at all these people. Maybe, just maybe, I could clear my name and make a place for myself in this world.


	10. All my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! Almost a 1000 views, that's amazing! Thank you so much for staying with me on this story and following Bucky. I appreciate every kudos and comment.

Me and Steve were sitting in my room with paint buckets all around us, the room was empty and ready to be painted. Last night I'd chosen maternity clothes for Steve to buy in disdain. It still hadn't set in that I was having a baby, even with my small bump. Things didn't feel real, actually having to wear maternity clothes would be too real. I had to though, my pants and shirts were getting really tight and uncomfortable, soon I was gonna have to steal Steve's clothes if I hadn't of bought the maternity clothes. I had decided I wanted light green, grey and light blue big painted leaves hanging from where the wall met the ceiling. I wanted light pink, light blue, dark blue and light purple flowers at the bottom of the wall and silver and black painted forest animals like deers and foxes. Steve had loved the idea and suggested to paint the background light blue. So here we are, I was standing in a pair of Steve's old top and pants while we rolled light blue paint on the walls. I was not the best at doing even strokes like Steve but then we both started rolling the paint in all directions and it made a pretty cool effect. Steve started humming as he painted and I watched him for a while, he looked so happy. I guess the serum hadn't changed his personality, just his health and build. He still had bright blue eyes that were full of determination and pure goodness. They still light up when he does something he loves like art. He still has the same face, same smile, same expressions. But me? I'm completely different. My old self had short hair and grey eyes that sparkled with mischief and adventure. I had dressed to impress and flirted with every girl I met, I was curious and ready to dash off to save Steve from getting beat up in some alley. I had been alive and ready to become a soldier and fight Hitler, to become a hero. Now I was a broken shell with overgrown hair and dead eyes, silent and broken. The longing for adventure gone. I had been destroyed beyond repair, nothing could bring the old Bucky back.

"Hey Buck, I'm gonna start with the leaves at the top since the paint is dry up there." Steve commented grabbing a ladder.  
"Okay, I'll keep painting the blue." I replied.  
My stomach grumbled and I rolled my eyes, my appetite had slowly started to come back. For some reason I was craving pomegranates today which was weird cause I'd never even tasted one before. How the heck can you crave something you've never had? I continued painting and decided to see if we have any pomegranates later. I looked up and actually froze, the leaves Steve was painting were beautiful. They were empty on the inside with the colours I chose outlinig them on the outside and lines on the inside, they didn't quite look real. They looked like they were from a story book but either way they were so pretty. I sniffed and Steve looked down, he looked surprised when he saw me looking up at him and crying.  
"What's wrong?" He asked nervously as he jumped off the ladder,  
"It's so beautiful Steve!" I cried out embarrassed that I was getting so emotional over a picture.  
I'd never gotten anything like this and I was eternally grateful. Steve looked a little bewildered but gave me a side hug anyway and rubbed my arm. My stomach growled again and Steve looked at me with an amused smile, he had been relieved when I'd starting eating little bits again.  
"Bruce said that you'd be getting cravings around now, anything you want me to get you?"  
"Pomegranates." I replied.  
Steve looked at me surprised and shook his head.  
"Good God, I hope your kid doesn't get your weird appetite." He looked at me questioningly and I gave him a small smile,  
Steve was testing if it was alright to talk about my future kid, sure, it shook me up a little but it was okay.  
He got up and went out the room I started painting again as I waited for Steve, by the time he came back I was completely finished. He handed me a plate of cut up pomegranates and I took it thankfully.

I watched Steve paint big, fairytale-like leaves all along the top of the walls and then start to paint beautiful animals along all the walls. I saw him start to paint a silver dove caught in flight at the upper left wall. It truly looked like a fairytale. He was done two hours later and we both walked out of my room to let the paint dry. The blue we painted had already dried before Steve put paint over it, he had bought a type that dried super fast. I felt exhausted and just wanted to take a nap, I walked out into Steve's living room and smiled. It was like a moment caught in time, everything his house would have looked like if we were still in the 40s. I sat on Steve's couch and lay down, Steve walked in and saw me half asleep on his couch.  
"Bucky, you can sleep in my bed if you want..." Steve offered,  
I cracked open one of my eyes to see if he was joking, he looked completely sincere. I don't want to be a burden but a warm bed sounds amazing... Steve must have seen the look of want on my face because he walked over and slowly picked me up bridal style. My eyes widened and I grabbed onto Steve, he started walking towards his room. He put me in bed and even tucked me in, this reminded me of the days when I was doing this to Steve when he'd gotten a nasty cold. Feelings bubbled up that were so foreign and old to me. One thing I knew for certain in my foggy state of sleep was that I loved Steve in that moment. With all my heart.


	11. Baby names

Me and Steve were on the floor in his living room, we were currently coming up with baby names. I'd been reluctant to agree but Steve had insisted. I'd decided I wanted to name them a name from the 40s, Steve had smiled from ear to ear. We were writing down girl and boy names and we'd come up with lots of good names so far.

Girl names, boy names  
• Jane • Thomas  
• Alice • Louis  
• Katherine • Russell  
• Evelyn • Tommy  
• Rebecca • Theodore  
• Margaret • Jay  
• Sara • Benjamin  
• Rachel • Oscar  
• Ellen •Jonathan  
• Marianne •William

We were throwing names back and forth and writing down the ones we liked, it was actually kind of fun. Steve was lying on his stomach as he jotted names down, I was sitting up and resting against the couch. My stomach was even bigger and it made it hard to do just about anything. 

"Hey Buck, time for your pills." Steve reminded me,  
I took the glass of water he handed me and swallowed my pills, they were for morning sickness. My morning sickness had come back and was even worse than last time. Steve was worried, apparently I was supposed to be eating lots of nutritious food about now to help me and the baby grow. I wasn't too worried though, I was gonna visit Bruce in a few days to get checked out. We got back to brainstorming.  
"Hey Bucky, what about Susan?"  
"Yeah."  
I watched Steve jot the name down and I thought of another one.  
"Chester?" I asked,  
"Of course, whatever you like."  
I froze suddenly at a strange sensation. I grabbed on to Steve's arm in excitement, he looked at me questioningly.  
"What is it? Did you think of the perfect name?"  
"No! Steve, look let me show you!"  
I grabbed his hand and scooched closer to him, I slowly lowered his hand on my stomach so that he could easily pull away if he didn't want to do that. His palm fell warm and heavy on my stomach, it felt soothing and like a river of butterflies were pouring through me. We waited and then I felt it, a small kick. Steve gasped as his eyes widened. His eyes were glued to my stomach as we waited, ten seconds later we felt the baby kick twice in a row. A laugh bubbled up from me, and soon we were both giggling. Steve pulled me in and hugged me, I tensed at first but started to relax after a few seconds. Steve meant safety.  
"That's amazing! I'm so happy I get to be here for you, to help in whatever way I can." Steve sighed,  
I stuffed my face into his chest and smiled, it was strange that I'd gone from being isolated and... well, best to not think about it. I locked my mind gremlins away as best as I could, it's what I'd named all the dark, twisted and terrifying thoughts I had. I thought it fit nicely.  
"Hey, you okay?" Steve whispered as he brushed his fingers through my hair,  
"Yeah... love you Stevie." I whispered back,  
I froze at the words that poured out of me, oh crap. I hadn't even realized what I was saying till I'd said it. It was true though, right? I was just getting used to my feelings again but I was pretty sure that this what love feels like. It didn't mean I wanted Steve to know how much I cared and loved him, I didn't want to ruin what we had.  
"I love You too Buckaroo."  
The only problem was, I was pretty sure Steve only loved me as a best friend.


	12. I won't go back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know it's been a stressful time for some of us right now. Me included, I hope you guys are safe and happy.

"Bucky, I have to go meet with S.H.I.E.L.D. they're trying to get you to come back even though I've explained why you should stay here." I could hear the frown in Steve's voice,   
I sipped from my ginger tea and placed my mug on the counter, I nodded even though I had a strong urge to plead with Steve to stay with me. I didn't want him to leave me.  
"I'll be back in hopefully a couple of hours, okay?"  
"Okay." I said and tried to smile,  
Steve gave me a smile before grabbing a jacket and walking out the door, the air was getting colder and soon it would be something called Halloween. I sighed as I heard the elevator doors slide shut. I grabbed my phone and pulled up my tracking app, hidden inside my phone. I pulled up Steve's tracker and saw he was still wearing it, he hadn't taken it off yet or found it. Steve's little blue dot slowly moved in the direction of S.H.I.E.L.D and I tracked it with my eyes. When I saw him reach his destination I turned on the audio and heard Steve's footsteps as he walked. Don't act so surprised that I'm tracking Steve, I am an assassin. I had to know why they were talking about me, if they were gonna try and kill me. I had to be prepared to escape. I heard a voice and a door opening. The voice sounded like director Fury's, then new voices joined.

"Captain America, you know why you're here. You also know why we need to take the winter soldier back." An older woman's voice said,  
I shivered a little at her tone and the way she spoke about me.  
"With all-due respect Ma'am, I don't know why he has to go back. We've been keeping tabs on him at the tower and who else better to look over him than the Avengers? We also have Bruce to check o-"  
Steve was cut off by a man. "He's not who you think he is Steve, he's a trained assassin that has murdered millions of people without any mercy. He is dangerous even in his currant state, he needs to be taken into S.H.I.E.L.D and promptly."  
"Sir, I've been helping him to catch up on the world and experience what it's like to be human again. Do you know why? Cause he was my best friend. He was being controlled by HYDRA, he didn't even know who he was. We should be hunting down HYDRA and making them pay, not making their victim pay."  
"This doesn't change the fact he's a weapon that could go off with one tiny word at any moment. He can easily escape the tower if he tried to and it would be safest for everyone if he stayed here. Captain, you need to remember this isn't just about him, it's about all those people down there that are living their lives. If the winter soldier escaped and went on a killing spree, thousands of innocent lives would be killed, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters. You need to remember what we're fighting for."  
"I know damn well what I'm fighting for. But tell me Malick, did you see the fear and recognition in his eyes when he got his memories back? Did you see the self hatred and regret when he realized all the things he's done? Do you realize what hes been through? He has endured more than you can imagine, being tortured, having his memory taken and being treated as a thing, not even treated as a human. This is what I'm fighting for, an innocent person that was taken advantage of and needs help. When you look at Bucky, all you see is a threat that you want locked up so you can sleep well at night. When I look at him, I see a damaged man that needs help and is trying his best to escape HYDRA'S control and the people that hurt him. I see a trauma victim with the world against him, how come the only thing you see is what you want to see?"  
"I'm afraid we've already made our decision to move him to S.H.I.E.L.D Captain."  
I felt tears in my eyes at their conversation, I almost wished I hadn't listened. I didn't know why their words hurt so much, I already knew people thought about me that way.  
"If you all decided then why did you let me try and convince you not to?"  
"We wanted to see what your reaction would be, how you would defend him. Now I'd suggest you tell the others and be ready for S.H.I.E.L.D to pick him up tomorrow at 10 am sharp."  
Heavy silence followed until I heard Steve reply, "sometimes I can't believe these are the people that are supposed to keep us safe, when all you do is wreck and tear things down."  
I heard his footsteps walk sharply out with someone else.

I turned the tracker off and threw my phone across the room. It cracked as it collided with the wall and I cursed as I wracked my hands through my hair. I stood up but wobbled a bit at my big stomach, I was slightly worried. My stomach was bigger than a normal 4 month pregnancy, there was no doubt I was pregnant. If I went out in the street with the biggest coat I owned people would still see I was pregnant. I speeded towards the elevator as I asked JARVIS where Natasha was, the robot voice told me she was training with agent Barton. I told JARVIS to bring me to the floor they were training, I stepped out of the elevator when it arrived and followed the sound of sparring. I walked into a big fitness and training room and saw Natasha and Clint fighting each other on a big blue mat. They were both sweaty and breathing hard, I walked in and Natasha looked at me. Then she did a strange twisty move around Clint and kicked his legs out from underneath him, he fell on the mat with a startled yelp.  
"What's up Bucky?" She asked casually as she strolled over to me,  
"They're going to bring me back to S.H.I.E.L.D tomorrow, Natasha what do I do?"  
"They're trying to bring you back? Well shit." Clint breathed standing up and jogging over,  
Natasha's face twisted into a look of anger and something bitter before she put her mask back in place.  
"You need to stay calm, we've got your back. We're gonna be with you through whatever happens."  
"What, that's It? We just roll over and let them take Bucky? No, we need to do something! Bring him to a safe house or anything!" Clint fussed,  
"We have orders Barton, we can't do that without getting fired and everyone in a rampage."  
"So What? Everything worth fighting for is gonna be dangerous and cost something. I dont know about you but I'm not gonna let them take Bucky and throw him in a jail cell."  
Clint crossed his arms stubbornly and walked over to me, Nat muttered curses under her breath as she quickly walked down the hall.  
"You two coming or What? We've only got a day to get you somewhere secure."


	13. The escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of all the amazing comments I was motivated to update my story today! If you have any suggestions for things you'd like to see or any other ships you want, please let me know! Hope you enjoy!

We were on a mini plane that was speeding extremely fast towards Denmark, apparently Tony had a secret vacation home there in the mountainside that no one knew about. Natasha was sitting beside me as she packed bags full of weapons, Clint was piloting the plane and Steve was beside me as he bounced his leg up and down nervously. We'd decided not to involve the others so they wouldn't be dragged into my drama, I already felt bad enough that Clint got dragged in. We were gonna arrive in half-an-hour and everyone's nerves were all over the place, we were gonna have to be extra careful, we couldn't show any part of ourselves on any cameras. Next Nat started pulling civilian clothes out for us to blend in, the outfits were pretty good but I frowned when she pulled mine out.

"Hold up, you want me to wear... a dress!?" I snorted,  
"Yes. There's no way people won't notice your pregnant and I think your only option is to pretend you're a woman."

I sighed and grumpily grabbed the dress, at least my hairs long so I won't have to wear a wig. I went in another room and shimmied out of my clothes, I pulled on the dress and leggings Nat gave me and then pulled on woman's boots. I looked in the mirror, the dress was long and went to my knees, it was a forest green with stitches swirls on the loose long sleeves. It was a maternity dress and made my bump look bigger. The leggings were black and the boots were a light brown that stopped at my ankles. I walked out and Nat grabbed stuff and pulled me back in. 

"Okay, you need to shave the stubble that's growing."  
I nodded and she shaved me with a buzzing machine.  
"Time for the fun bit, close your eyes." She demanded,  
"Why?" I asked,  
Then my eyes widened as I saw the makeup bag beside her.  
"Oh no no no, I'm not wearing makeup! It's bad enough I'm wearing a dress!" I whined,  
"Bucky, if you want a chance at escaping S.H.I.E.L.D you're gonna have to do this. So suck it up and stop acting like a baby."  
"Im not a baby, there's a baby inside me..." I muttered,  
Nat just laughed and pulled my face towards the light, she started smearing a skin coloured paste on me and then added powder to my cheeks lightly. She added an array of powders to my eyelids that all blended into a silver to pink. She drew a line across the edge of my eyes and added stuff to my eyelashes to make them look longer. She lightly drew in the edges of my eyebrows so they looked neat but still natural and then added pink lipstick.  
"Damn Barnes, looking hot! Now for your hair!" She grinned,  
"What? Oh come o-" I started before she started dragging a brush through my hair.  
"Ow ow ow ow owwww, that hurts!"  
"I know, almost over." She hummed,

She then started braiding bits of my hair and twisting them into a high bun, my hair went just past my shoulders so it was just about long enough for a high bun. She left bits of hair at the front of my face and pulled out a curler, I groaned. Is this what woman have to deal with everyday? She plugged it in and started to curl the front bits of my hair so they fell in pretty, gentle, curls. Next she pulled out women's RAY-BAN sunglasses, it was rimmed in gold with a darkish green. I pulled them on and looked in the mirror, I was shocked to see my reflection. I actually looked like a woman, a pregnant soon-to-be Mom.

"Wow... not bad. You just need these now." She handed me socks and a bra,  
"Oh my God... yep, your really making me do this."  
"You get changed into that while I'll check the others are in their costumes." Nat said walking off,  
I reluctantly took the dress off and put the bra on, I stuffed it with socks to make it look real and slipped my dress back on. I walked into the other room and saw Steve and Clint in their disguises. Clint was wearing khaki shorts with a blue button up shirt and fake, realistic glasses. Steve was wearing jeans with a t-shirt that said "super Dad!" And a red cap. I looked at Steve in confusion as he looked at me with wide eyes.  
"Wow Bucky, you actually look like a woman."  
"I know, do you know all the prepping and pampering I had to do? Natasha I really feel you. But why are you wearing that shirt?"  
"You and Steve are gonna be a married couple that's expecting their first child. Me and Clint are gonna be your close friends that are traveling with you. Don't complain, it's the least conspicuous thing. Here's your guys wedding rings, these are ours." Nat threw me a gold ring with a blue crystal in it, Steve had a matching one. Nat slipped on a plain gold ring but I saw designs carved in it, Clint put on a similar one.  
"You two don't mind pretending to be married?" Steve asked,  
"Nah, were agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. This isn't the first time we've pretended to be a couple." Clint replied packing knives into hidden compartments in his shirt. I took a deep breath and smiled, it felt nice to be with people that actually cared about me, that I could call friends.


	14. Undercover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

We were waiting for Nat to finish getting ready, I was loaded with hidden weapons but Steve was having a mini crisis because his shield wouldn't fit in his suitcase.

"But it's a part of me! What if we meet bad guys and I need my shield to protect us from bullets or... I need to use it to hit them!"  
"Steve, you can't just carry Captain America's shield around with you. Thats a dead give away to where we are. Besides, you can use a fold up knife or hide a gun somewhere."  
"Clint's right, here, you can have these. Also, don't worry about anyone tracking us here. I disabled the tracker on the jet." Nat said throwing Steve a gun and a knife.  
We all looked at Nat in amazement, she had totally transformed. She was wearing a pretty light purple shoulder-less summer top with three quarter length black leggings. She had black flats and she was wearing a brown wig, the wig was long and she'd tied her wig up in a high ponytail. Her makeup was bright and she had shiny lip gloss on instead of her signature red lipstick.

"Okay, that's enough oggling. We still need to get into Tony's vacation home without being seen. We need aliases. I'm gonna be Emily Johnson, age 26. Small town restaurant owner called Home Grown and we're from Georgia. Traveling with my husband with our friends across the world. Clint?"  
"Kenneth Johnson, age 28. Works in a small town restaurant with my wife, Emily. Lived in Georgia for our whole lives and is now exploring the world to get a taste of other cultures."  
"Okay, now we have to choose our aliases. I'll be Matthew Taylor, age 32. What about you Bucky?"  
"Melissa Taylor, age 29." I replied immediately,  
"Great, so this is your guys story. Melissa worked as an Environmental Services Tech for WellStar Health System untill she took maternity leave. Matthew worked as a carpenter for McCarthy Building Companies, Inc. You two are on a break to relax before your baby is born, you invited your two closest friends to come with you and now we're all on holiday. Great, lets do this."

Nat grabbed her suitcase and Clint landed the plane down on a field, miles away from any civilization. We all grabbed our stuff and stepped out, I saw Nat and Clint carrying an extra suitcase as well as their own.

"How are we gonna get to Tony's vacation home?" Steve asked,  
"With these." Nat said placing a suitcase down and pressing a button.  
The suitcase mechanically unfolded into a type of motorbike for two people, except there was no wheels. There were two jet engines where the wheels were supposed to be. Clint pressed a button on his and another motorbike appeared.  
"Alright, we're heading to Yding Skovhøj in Horsens municipality, Jutland is one of Denmark's highest points. Its height is 172.54 m above sea level. Tony's home is deep in the mountains, we can use these to get us there most of the way. I got Tony to make these before we left, they hover and don't leave any tracks behind so no one can follow us. Steve you ride with Bucky, I'll ride with Clint."  
"Oh, can I dri-"  
"No. I'm driving." Nat smirked swinging onto the bike.

Clint rolled his eyes and got on behind her, then Steve got on ours and I slid on behind him. It was slightly uncomfortable with my stomach but it was fine, I'd survive. Nat typed in where we were going on the built in GPS and started. Our bikes came to life surprisingly quietly and we started speeding across the land. I gripped onto Steve tight, I didn't want to fall and risk my baby's life. It would take quite some time to get there, the sun was just beginning to set. The sun painted the sky in a bright red fading to orange then a light purple and dark blue. It was beautiful. I watched the wind blow my dress out around me, relishing on the cool breeze. Nature really was truly stunning, I promised to bring my baby somewhere like this when they were older. When we could enjoy it together, as a family.


	15. Danish family of six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a little while, I forgot to press save and my work kept getting deleted and it was so annoying! But anyway, im back!!! And here's a longer chapter to make up for lost time!

We had been riding for hours before we came across a village, with people running errands and kids playing in the streets. We met a woman named Anne who insisted on us spending the night with her and her family for free. We tried paying her but she refused with a joyous smile. Her English was broken but we could still basically understand each other, so we decided to stay with her. We walked in after her and saw her brightly lit house with potted plants and kid drawings covering the walls. The first thing we heard was someone singing in Danish while playing a guitar as children laughed. Anne led us into her living room where we saw four kids dancing around their Dad as he sang. They stopped when they saw us though, three were boys and the youngest was a girl. The youngest boy who looked around six ran to his Mom and hid behind her, he peeked at us shyly. Their oldest who looked around fourteen looked at us suspiciously with a hint of curiosity. Their middle son simply kept humming the song his Dad had been singing. Their youngest child who looked around two had the strangest reaction, she waddled straight over to me and wrapped her tiny arms around my leg. She looked up at me with a smile and made an adorable laugh.

"You must be tourists, welcome to Denmark! My name is Henrik and I'm sure you met my wife, Anne."  
"Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you! My name's Kenneth and this is my wife Emily, we're travelling across the world right now with our friends the Taylor's. I have to say, it's truly beautiful here! Especially with the lush countryside and the mountains!" Clint exclaimed,  
"Yes, I quite agree. We are blessed to live where we do. It seems our daughter is quite taken with you! The one who is attached to your leg is Saffie, our oldest here is Soren, behind Anne is Erik and then our son Jantzen."  
"It's wonderful to meet you, my name is Matthew and that's my wife Melissa. Thank you so much for allowing us to stay here for the night." Steve said politely,

There was excited whispers coming from the children as they heard we were staying the night and I couldn't help but smile. I looked down at Saffie and she blinked her very pale blue eyes up at me. She had shoulder length wispy white-blonde hair, the type that was natural. In fact, all four children had naturally light blonde hair.   
"Up!" She squealed as she lifted her hands up and opened and closed them in grabby motions, I warily picked her up. I didn't want to make her upset or accidentally hurt her, as soon as I placed her on my hip somewhat awkwardly she snuggled into me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I saw Steve silently "aww" as he looked at us like we were the cutest thing since that ridiculous "boo" dog they bred.

"Do you mind if I take a picture?" Nat asked as she took her phone out,  
"No, not at all. Go ahead." Their Dad replied,  
I rolled my eyes but turned towards the camera anyway.  
"Hey, you wanna look at the camera?" I whispered to Saffie,  
I wasn't sure if she understood me though, I wasn't sure if any of the kids spoke English. Regardless she nodded and turned to the camera, we both smiled and I saw Saffie bite on her lower lip adorably as she smiled. Nat took a few pictures and packed her phone away, then Saffie started wiggling around to be let down so I lifted her back to the ground. She ran off to her Dad who grabbed her and swung her around in the air as she shrieked in excitement. I looked around and noticed their oldest son, Soren, looking at Steve closely. He was also looking at Clint and Nat, he couldn't know who we were... Right? I saw Anne walk over with two cups of tea and handed one to me with a bright smile.  
"Here, Chamomile tea. It good for feeling sick. I see you're having a baby?" She said sweetly in broken English,  
"Yes, Thank you for the tea. I'm almost five months pregnant, it's me and Matthew's first." I smiled tiredly, not even faking my exhaustion.  
I rubbed a hand over my stomach to look normal yet that simple act felt strange and wrong to do in front of people, it felt more like something special and private to do. It felt weird talking about my baby as if it were mine and Steve's, yet there was almost something comforting and appeasing about the idea.  
"Well, dinners ready in twenty minutes, you must tired. Then you can sleep, if you want."  
"Thank you." I said and sipped my tea,  
Anne walked into another part of the house that was most likely the kitchen.  
"Come on! We'll show you your rooms!" Jantzen babbled as he grabbed Steve's hand and started pulling him towards the hallway,  
Erik motioned for the rest if us to follow and ran after his brother, it seemed the kids also knew English. We followed the two boys up a wooden staircase and into the first room.  
"This is me and Erik's room! Saffie sleeps with Mama and Papa and Soren gets his own room!" Jantzen exclaimed,

Their room was small with a bunk bed pushed across the far wall and a blue woven carpet on the floor, they had a chest of drawers and toy buckets with tin cars lying around the place. Next they showed us Soren's room which was the same size and had a green woven carpet on the ground with his bed pressed against the left wall. He had a desk unlike his brothers with school books spread across and a small bookshelf full of his belongings. He had a colourful curtain and green bed sheets. Next they showed us their parents and Saffie's room, it was bigger than the kids rooms and had a double bed with a desk and a bedside table. There was a book shelf full of books for their parents and for Saffie as well as toys, a pretty light pink and yellow carpet was on the ground with a few wooden dolls laying around. There was no bed for Saffie so she probably slept with her parents. Next they showed us the guest room which was a little smaller than the parents room but was pretty and had a double bed with a mirror mounted on the wall, a built in closet and a chest of drawers. They finished the upstairs tour and led us downstairs to show us the kitchen, bathroom and then even showed us their back garden. They seemed to not be rolling around in money but they looked happy, which was more important than being rich and getting the latest style in my opinion. When the tour was finished dinner was ready and we all sat down to eat at their big, wooden table with hand carved wooden seats.

"Before we eat I'd like to give a toast and a blessing." Their Dad said standing up, "We are happy and grateful that the Taylor's and Johnson's were brought to us today. We'd like to give a toast to making new friends! We would also like to give a blessing to Matthew and Melissa for starting their own family! May your child be happy, healthy and full of love and laughter!"  
Emotional shock waves ran through me at his kind words, dang pregnancy hormones, they're making me tear Up! I sniffed and Anne patted my arm knowingly, she probably knew all about being hormonal seeing as she's had four kids.  
"Melissa, is everything okay? What's wrong?" Steve asked, genuine worry peeking through.  
Anne laughed. "Men know nothing about women, am Right?"  
I nodded with a small laugh and watched the kids dig in, I sighed looking at the happy family. One day I'd have something like this, a family of my own.


	16. The stars, the moon and the Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooh, almost Christmas!

Dinner had smelled amazing. Well... right up until I bolted to the bathroom to throw up. I'd even managed to keep some food down and had only thrown up twice, a new record! After we ate Anne and Nat did the dishes while Steve and Henrik were talking. As soon as we finished eating the kids herded me and Clint into the living room where they asked questions about where we lived, what type of food we ate, what the weather was like and so on. We answered as many as we could until Clint started telling them a story about funny (madeup) things he did as a kid. They listened intently and laughed at the stupid things he said, they watched Clint as he explained the story with wild gestures and they gazed at him with wonder and excitement. I decided to slip away while Clint entertained the kids, I walked into the kitchen to talk with Anne and Nat.

"Oh, hi Melissa! We were just talking about You! I was telling Anne how me and Kenneth met you and Matthew when we were all reckless teenagers, it's funny how we knew each other back then but had no idea we'd be where we are now!" Nat laughed in that sweet voice that still had me in shock that it was Nat behind those words.  
"Yes, I remember that. Jeez... that was what, around 15 years ago?" I smiled,  
"Mhm! Now look at us! Me and Kenneth are together and happy! You and Steve are together and are having your first child!" Nat squealed,  
"Ah, I remember me and Henrik when we first child. We very happy." Anne hummed as she wiped her hands on a cloth.  
"Yeah. In fact, you could give Melissa tips on her pregnancy and what to expect when the baby's born and stuff like that!" Nat piped,  
"I not understand. Expect?" Anne asked uncertainly,  
"Oh, um, Henrik? What's the Danish word for expect?" Nat asked as she walked into the entrance way of the hallway,  
"forventer." Henrik called back,  
"Ah, okay! Yes, understand now. Well, sickness when pregnant. Get better though, drink tea to help. Back pain and... uh, how you say in English... hovedpine... headaches! Very tired, need very rest. When birth happening you need water, cloths, remember breathe, helps if Matthew hold hand, clean bed and blanket for baby."

I nodded along feeling embarrassed to be talking about this stuff, it was one thing to acknowledge you're having a baby in your head. Another to have your kids birth openly talked about for anyone to hear. But it's just natural for most people to talk about stuff like that, I get it, I'm not normal. Heck, Nat, Clint, Steve, all of us aren't normal. Steve said that's what makes us different and have the ability, the drive to be who we are. I wonder what's better, to be a citizen, go about your day and do normal things like go to work, have a family and get-togethers. To be innocent and unworried. Or to be a protector of the innocent, to keep life thriving from the dangers of the world, to have the burden of knowledge and the memories and nightmares of every ugly truth. To be blessed with gifts. If I had the choice, would I have stayed normal and never became the winter soldier in the first place, even if it meant I never saw Steve again? Honestly... all that torture, abuse, brainwashing, and so much more... it was worth it if it meant I was given another chance, and to see Steve one last time. Crazy, all that for one guy? Well my guy isn't just any guy, he's Steve Rogers. The boy that stood up to every injustice, no matter the size of the bully. The boy that doodles in his spare time and is braver than a lion. The guy that caught a cold in the slightest cold weather and always insisted he was fine. The boy that I stood up for, when no one else did. The man that saved me from that HYDRA base I was imprisoned in, helped me fight. The man that almost saved me from falling off that train... but didn't make it in time. I was undoubtedly in love with that man, I just didn't know what to do about it.

"børn, tid til seng. giv dig klar, så kommer jeg og synger for dig. husk at børste tænder!" Anne called out to her kids as I was snapped out of my little walk down memory lane.  
"Ingen mor! Lad os holde op lidt længere, vi har gæster forbi, og vi vil ikke gå i seng endnu!" Erik whined as the others protested too,  
"Children, your mother's right! Time for bed because you have school tomorrow! hugg hugg, fortsæt!" Henrik said walking in with Steve,  
"But-" Soren started before huffing and walking upstairs with his siblings after a stern look from his Dad.  
"Goodnight pretty lady!" Saffie yelled as she looked at me with a smile before clambering up the stairs on her hands and knees.  
I stood there in surprise, it was surprising she spoke English but also surprising that she called me a... pretty lady.  
"Come, Matthew and Melissa. You shall be sleeping in our guest room upstairs, I hope it's alright with you two if we make you a comfortable bed on the floor?" Henrik said as he looked at Clint and Nat questioningly,  
"Nope, that's fine! Don't worry, I'll sleep like a rock wherever I go!" Clint smiled,

Henrik laughed before bringing me and Steve upstairs to our room. We took turns changing into our PJs and my cheeks burned when I saw my PJ's were a light pink nightgown that had long sleeves and a high waist band to accommodate my bump. I quickly undid my hair and crawled into the bed, exhausted. Steve sat down on the bed before we heard a nock at the door and it slowly opened to reveal Soren in his PJs. He walked in cautiously and closed the door.

"Hi Soren, what can we do for you buddy?" Steve asked cheerfully,  
"I know who you guys are, well... not you Melissa, if that's even your real name." Soren whispered seriously,  
We froze and stared at him, unable to figure out if we should deny it or... just, do something else.  
"You're Captain America, Kenneth is Hawkeye and Emily is the Black Widow. I know because me and my friends love the Avengers and have watched you fight on tv. Don't deny it."   
"Alright kid, you got us. You need to promise you won't tell anyone though okay? No one, not your family or friends. You can't tell ANYONE who we are. We're on a secret mission and we need you to keep it a secret for us, can you do it for me?" Steve said in his that's-right-i'm-Captain-America voice,  
Soren nodded with his mouth open and his eyes wide, he seemed ecstatic on the inside to be a part of a superheroes secret mission.   
"I'm such a big fan Mr. America! Do you... I mean, could you... would you sign my poster?" He asked sheepishly,  
"Of course, bring it in!"  
Soren ran out the room in wild excitement and looked like he only just remembered to not whoop and shout through the house in excitement. He came back with an Avengers poster and a pen and watched Steve sign his name on it.  
"Hey Soren, I know you're excited but you can't show this poster to anyone, not for awhile. If you did some people that are after us might find out where we are and that would be bad."  
"I promise I won't show or tell anyone. But then who are You? Cause you're not an Avenger." Soren asked me.  
I sat there not knowing how to answer. The truth was, I didn't know who I was. I wasn't an Avenger, or a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, I wasn't with HYDRA anymore but I wasn't just a person. I'd been through too much to ever go back to a normal life, so who was I?  
"This is Bucky, my best friend. The person I'm trying to protect because right now... they're the most important person to me in the whole wide world."  
I turned to look at Steve as a wave of unbelievable sadness and happiness and love washed through my blood. I stared at Steve as I felt my entire being radiate with joy and tears. In the back of my mind I saw Soren leave and just me and Steve were in the room.  
"Steve... did you mean that?" I asked as my voice shook and cracked with emotion,  
"Of course I did. You're like the stars, the moon and the earth to me. My whole world." Steve smiled crawling into bed,

I lay down as thoughts screamed at me from every direction, I felt Steve lay down beside me. Without thinking I turned and snuggled into him, my eyes opened but before I could apologize he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me in closer. I sighed and rested my head against his shoulder where the side of his head rested on the top of mine. I drifted into a deep sleep with two boys running through the city as they laughed and played, without a care in the world.


	17. Vacay home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the updates so late! School started today... ugh... and my math teacher decided it would be a good idea to put our test the second day back at school. Sigh.  
> Thank you for all your kudos and to the great comments at the end of each chapter! I always look forward to see what new comments are There!

We were back on the road. After having a delicious breakfast that I wolfed down, I am soooo glad my morning sickness has settled down. Its like my hunger is finally catching up with me though. We'd said goodbye to Anne and her family, I watched Steve wink at Soren who practically glowed from excitement and then we went to a local shop and bought supplies. Henrik told us it got really cold in the countryside because the land was mostly flat. The wind blew harsh and cold and it wasn't unusual to experience rain often. After we'd gotten a safe distance away from civilization, we got on our hover bikes and set off. Tony's vacay home was only two or so hours away And I was glad we were almost there. It was getting closer and closer to when S.H.I.E.L.D would figure out we were gone, it was making me nervous. Natasha said they were the good guys... so then why are we running from them? Everything is confusing, I'M confusing. A man that's pregnant. 

I looked up at the looming mountain, I couldn't see any sign of Tony's vacay home. I guess that's really good. My fingers were all ready freezing through my gloves as I held onto Steve, it had started raining and I was glad we bought our extra gear. We'd gotten raincoats, gloves, mittens and scarves to protect our faces from the wind. I'd gotten a dark blue maternity coat that was warm and snug. The rain poured down on our hoods and dripped down our coats, falling on our legs and sliding into our boots. My socks were damp and rapidly cooling, hopefully we'll get there soon.

After another hour we finally reached the mountain, Clint pulled out a screen that had been a part of the bike and typed something in. Then we heard an A.I. voice coming from the bike and a hologram appear. It was directly leading us into a secret compartment of the mountain where Tony's home was hidden. Natasha pressed on the gas and Steve followed after her, we went to the left of the mountain and continued for half an hour until Natasha suddenly stopped. She got off the bike and studied the side of the mountain for a few minutes, then she felt the rock with her hand before stopping and pressing her hand flat on the rock. The part where Natasha's hand was slid to the side and a machine scanned her hand. There was a click and then a green light flashed, a door shaped chunk of rock slid backwards and up into the ceiling. A long passageway lit by lights and paved stretched before us, Natasha hopped back on the bike and we continued into the mountain, I looked back and watched the rock door slide back into place. We rode into the heart of the mountain for around forty minutes before coming out into a huge cavernous area.

Daylight streamed in strategically from the top of the mountain by winding pathways, there was a long winding driveway above a beautiful lake with small waterfalls falling onto lower areas of the lake. The winding road led to a huge, modern vacation home. It had Tony written all over it. With a sleek, dark, slanted roof and glass walls. There were multiple levels cut into different shapes with some levels hanging over others. I could see large balconies and tropical plants all around the place with a fountain made of dark marble in front of us and the road winding around it. We sped forward and finally stopped in front of Tony's house, it was even bigger than I thought.

We got off and peeled our wet gear off our cold frames, it was a lot warmer in here where we were protected from the winds and rains, it was surprisingly warm. I looked around in amazement, my wet hair sticking to my neck and cheeks. Natasha tugged her wet wig off to reveal her perfectly dry, red curls. We all grabbed our suitcases and walked up to the front door, Clint pushed his hand on a scanner and the door automatically opened. We shuffled inside tiredly, everything inside was modern, fancy and expensive. We all walked into the living room and flopped onto the couches, they were so soft. I felt my eyes involuntarily close by themselves, being pregnant was hard. My feet were hurting and I had a major headache, my but hurt from sitting down for so long too. I felt a fuzzy blanket being put over me and cracked my eyes open the tiniest bit, I saw the back of Steve's head retreating to one of the many couches. I snuggled into the blanket and let sleep take me away, it's a shame I had nightmares every night. I had been hoping to get some proper rest, oh well.


	18. A/N

Hi guys, sorry this isn't a chapter update.

I just wanted to say I just posted a writing competion today that anyone can join. If you're interested you can find it in my list of stories, this is open to any ages and any type of stories! If you want more details it explains it all there on the competition.

I hope to see some of you guys there!


	19. Exploring

I awoke with a start, I relaxed when I realized it was just someone noisily cooking. I looked to the side and saw Clint on the other couch, he was on his side and his chest was slowly rising and falling. He wasnt asleep though, just resting. I could tell when someone was actually sleeping or not, a survival tactic I picked up. Natasha and Steve were somewhere else, one of them had to be cooking something. I got up and felt my body ache, ugh, I'm never sleeping on a couch ever again. Clint opened one eye lazily and watched me walk towards the cooking noises.

"Steve's tryin' to cook... be careful 'bout what you eat, he may be a great cap'n but he's a aweful cook." Clint mumbled with his face smushed into the pillows,  
"Oh, I know." I grimaced, remembering the time he tried to cook me a birthday cake when I turned sixteen.  
I walked into the kitchen to find Steve with a mess all around him and a frown on his lips, he huffed in annoyance as he read a recipe over, I doubted it would help him now by the looks of it.  
"What are you doing?" I asked,  
I felt self conscious as I stood there, my bump was big, big and very noticeable. It felt weird to stand there for Steve to see Me in all of my glory, why can't the baby be tiny when it's born? It'd be a lot easier to walk and do stuff and it'd probably be less painful to give birth.  
"I'm trying to make an omelet... I must have done something wrong though."  
I looked in the bowl to see the thickest omelet mix I had ever seen, there were blobs on the pan that sat there and burned. I smiled and looked at Steve's ingredients, when I saw the milk was missing I pulled it out of the fridge and held it up to show Steve.  
"Oh." Was all Steve said as he grabbed the milk,

I laughed and sat down at the kitchen table, which was beside the kitchen. I watched Steve as he added the milk and threw the thick ones out, these looked better. Steve cooked them and put them on plates, he brought them to the table and went to get Natasha and Clint. I looked at the omelet and frowned, the bottom and top had completely browned, too much. Steve must've had the heat up too high, they should be okay though. Clint and Natasha walked in behind Steve with wary looks on their faces, I stiffled a laugh, they must have been objected to Steve's cooking on more than one occasion. We all sat down and I decided to take the first bite, Clint was watching me in horror as if I was about to grow two heads. The omelet was soggy and super mild with no spice, it just tasted... damp.

"How much milk did you add?" I asked Steve,  
"4 tablespoons."  
"Oh, that'd do it."  
"So it's bad?" Steve asked in disappointment,  
"No, not bad. Next time you'll get it right, I'm sure." I reassured Steve as Clint discreetly tried to scrape some of his onto Nat's plate. Natasha smacked his arm when she saw him, with a glare.  
"Oww..." Clint mumbled with a glare towards Nat,  
"Stop being a baby, you only got food poisoned last time because the chicken wasn't cooked properly, you'll be fine." Nat scolded as she took a bite of her omelet, if she didn't like it she hid it well.

Following Nat's lead, Clint took a bite and acted completely normal. Spies, the best at acting. We finished our omelets and Clint started to wash the dishes. I decided to explore Tony's vacay home, there wasn't much else to do, other than watch tv. I changed out of my clothes first, I pulled my dress and leggings off and pulled on a pair of jeans and a loose, black, maternity t-shirt. I looked at my face in the bathroom mirror and saw a few bits of makeup still here and there. I washed my face and ran a bit of water through my hair to get some of its natural shape back. I pulled a pair of socks on and walked out, I spent ten minutes in search of where to put my clothes before the A.I. of this house instructed me on where to put them, I had forgotten about the voice in the house. After that I explored a bit, most rooms were relatively empty. I did find a super fancy swimming pool room, with a hot tub and sauna. I also found a bar room, full of alcohol and tropical drinks. Next I found a bedroom, it was massive with a glass wall near the outside that showed the view of the trees and mountain. There was a huge king sized bed with red, silk sheets and dark brown wooden furniture. This just had to be Tony's room. I continued on and found a gym, with a wrestling ring, basketball hoops, multiple lines on the ground for different games and weight lifting equipment. 

I continued on and found another bedroom, this was slightly smaller than Tony's room and it's layout was different. It was still modern and rich, you could practically see the fortune this room alone had costed. I walked in and looked out the window, this room was so different to my room in the tower, I missed my painted walls that me and Steve had done. I wondered what was going to happen, I mean, this baby's not gonna wait. Am I gonna have to stay here until things finally blew over? Something told me that things wouldn't, would this be my new home? The thought made me depressed, that I might be stuck living in a mountain for the rest of my life. Even though this house was amazing, it wasn't for me. It was Tony's style, my style was more simpler and homey. I pressed my hand to the window and exhaled, watching my breath fog the window, reminding me I was still here and alive. I wouldn't go down without a fight, I'd stand my ground. I fought Natzis, I'm sure I can fight modern Natzis, even if it's not quite the same. 

I rested my hand on my stomach absentmindedly, a soft kick drew my attention to my stomach. I smiled, it was kinda crazy. I was holding my entire future in my hand.


	20. Rooftop escape

"Hey, Steve?" I asked,  
"Yeah?"  
"Is... anyone we knew still alive?"  
It had been weighing on my mind for the whole day. Thinking about the lives that just passed by without us knowing.  
"Yeah... Peggy is."  
I turned to Steve in shock, Peggy's still alive? An ache settled in my chest, if Peggy was still alive then she didn't have much time left. I might not get to see her before she passes...  
"I visited her, she's... she's hanging on. I promise I'll try to get you to her to visit. If you want."  
I nodded, Steve blinked away tears. Seeing Peggy so old with her life almost done, that had to be hard on Steve. Steve had loved her, if not still did. How did you deal with the crushing weight of losing the only chance with the woman you loved? I couldn't imagine the pain Steve had to go through.  
"So, wanna do something?" Steve asked,  
"Like what?" I replied,  
"I've got an idea, follow me."

I stood up unsteady, my stomach really affecting my balance. My bump was bigger than normal, I'd looked up how big a 5 month pregnancy bump was (to be frank I really had no idea how far along I was, I had a general idea it had been five months though). It had been smaller then mine, I'd checked other pictures to make sure and yeah. It was definitely bigger. I had a sneaking suspicion this was because they were a super soldier baby, which meant they would probably be naturally bigger than most babies. It was still uncomfortable to walk around though, especially since my body really wasnt meant to carry children.

Steve led me up the stairs, we passed the first floor and started walking to the second. Thankfully I was well able to go up all the stairs, even pregnant. My time with HYDRA insured that. A chill went up my spine at the thought of them, they were still out there looking for me. We went all the way up to the top floor and then Steve walked to the end of the hallway, he opened the window and looked back at me with a smile. I quirked my eyebrow, becoming curious.

"We're going out the window?" I asked,  
"We're going on the roof."  
Steve climbed out of the window carefully and hung on to the side of the building. I grabbed onto the top of the window and half jumped half swung out the window, I turned and held on to the outside of the window. Steve started to climb up, I saw he'd chosen a part that had crevices and designs along the wall, which made it easy to climb. I followed after him, glad he wasn't fussing about me being in danger about falling,he knew I was capable. I pulled myself onto the roof and looked around, there was a blanket a bit away with a bag that was closed and hidden. Steve came up after me and smiled.  
"Come on, let me show you."  
I followed Steve who led me to the opposite side of the roof, I looked around and my eyes widened. It was beautiful, trees were surrounding this side of the house in a mini forest. The inside of the mountain rose up high and I noticed movement coming from the forest. I then noticed it was Nat and Clint, it looked like they were doing a search of the perimeters, probably seeing if there were any flaws that people could get in. So that's where they'd disappeared to.  
"Now you can come up here whenever you want, and you scan for threats if you feel unsafe." Steve told me,  
I smiled at him gratefully, it was nice to know he understood. The others didn't know but whenever I had nightmares (which was almost every night) I would go out and patrol the edges of the inside of the mountain, convinced my nightmares were hiding out in a dark corner. I'd been in the forest but I'd never seen everything from up high, the view was great.

Steve walked over to the blanket and took something out of his bag, I padded over and inspected what was in his hand. It was a small-medium speaker that looked modern and fancy with its shiny dark blue edges and circular shape. Steve took his phone out and did stuff that I didn't know how to do, suddenly music started playing from the speaker. My heart leaped when I heard the familiar sound of 1940s music, I recognized the song, Sunrise Serenade. Steve held out his hand to me, I took it without even thinking.

"Dance with Me?" He asked,  
"I don't know-" I started to protest,  
"Please?" Steve pouted,  
I felt my face heat up and silently prayed that I wasn't blushing. Steve and his goddamn face, I used to be able to break into almost anywhere and kill my target. Now I can't even say no to a man because he's giving me puppy dog eyes.  
"Alright." I relented,  
Steve grinned and took hold of both my hands, we held them to the sides of us and swayed side to side. Steve spun himself and I laughed, remembering the time I taught him to dance as a teenager. He'd managed to get a date for the school dance but didn't even know how to dance, I'd had to spend all day teaching him, I remember twirling his thin body around as we laughed. A sort of peace settled within me, this just felt right. Dancing with Steve felt right, like it was as easy as breathing air. I wondered if Steve felt the same.


End file.
